Heart for Service + Plumpy Nut = Ramblings

Deep down under a thousand layers my heart has been driven towards serving others in some form or fashion for as long as I can remember. Given my inherently sinful nature, this has often been suppressed or replaced by feelings of selfishness, apathy, impatience, stubbornness. I also struggle with how to exercise my desire to be a better person and make a meaningful difference in this world. In high school, I went on mission trips, volunteered, etc., and after college went through a phase where I seriously considered joining the Peace Corps. By seriously considered, I mean went to an informational meeting at Central Market, and drafted a couple answers / essays as part of the lengthy application process. Fear then set in, the "you are out of your mind" thoughts arose, I couldn't imagine being away from friends, family...

Whenever I am around people that are extremely mission oriented, my heartstrings tug and the curosity begins again. I've often felt as though my spiritual gifts are not being best utilized within the banking industry, but have never been able to finger point what it is that God will ultimately call me to do in my life. This personal view of a "calling" assumes that my entire journey is culminating into one, defined purpose, which could very well occur; however, for the time being I feel called to be "extraordinary at the ordinary," to not give in to the repetitive nature of my daily life. To not be consumed by routine, but to remain fervent in prayer and continually thirsting for God, seeking to glorify Him and not becoming comfortable or complacent in my faith. These are the little things I can strive for in preparation for the big things, should they come in the future.

These ramblings and thoughts were birthed from conversations with K's uncle R who lives in Colorado. He is deeply passionte about helping families in Africa, primarily through providing funding and drugs for a local AIDS clinic in Nigeria. His latest mission is to raise awareness about plumpy nut. This is a simple concoction made mostly of peanut butter, powdered milk, and a chunk of vitamins that benefits malnourished children.

R is working on creating a simple way to manufacture a similar version of plumpy nut at his church as a pilot. He then hopes to take the plan to Nigeria so they can make their own formula, without having to worry about the cost, labor, and repair involved in maintaining heavy machinery. I am greatly encouraged and inspired by the impact he's making on those less fortunate.

So I guess in sum, the purpose of this post is to 1) briefly raise awareness of plumpy nut and 2) to express the conflict I feel in my heart over what it looks like to be a true servant. God has blessed me with an amazing husband who also has a strong desire to help people, and I'm hopeful that one day we'll recognize the means through which we've been called to serve - whether it be monetarily, or with our own physical labor and hard work, on a scale that is beyond our present capabilities but primarily as a result of grace and guidance from above...