So...

...let's jump right in and talk about post partum. In the grand scheme of things, I think I've been relatively cool and had what I would consider only 2 breakdowns since delivering our baby. The first one was a few nights after we got home from the hospital and I totally over-did it. Nevermind that I just had major abdominal surgery, I was up and about taking care of our kid and had things to do around the house that day. This somehow made me realize that I still desperately need time with K. I need his affection, his companionship, I need him to talk to me and ask me if I'm doing okay, I need "us," and I apparently needed to tell him this through a fit of tears after I'd gone to bed that night.

My 2nd breakdown [which is kind of ongoing but not really] revolved / revolves around 2 things: 1) The departure of Mimi and Pop and 2) Our new house.

In regards to Mimi and Pop - both my parents came up to the Big D for B's birthday. My Dad stayed a few days after she was born, but let's face it - he wasn't too excited about sleeping on a blow up air mattress for an extended period of time, sitting around the house taking care of a screaming baby all day, talking about milk and boobs and poop, plus his garden needed tending to. So he left and my Mom stayed for a couple weeks. She brought me water and Ritz crackers with pb during the middle of the night, rocked B to sleep when I'd been up with her for 2 hours already, did laundry for us, cooked us dinner, ran errands for us. It is a desire of my heart to be as good a mom to B as she is to me. Needless to say when my Dad came back to pick up my Ma and they both went back home, I was one very sad and distraught daughter.

In regards to our house, I've been having "I don't want to move" feelings. This doesn't really mean that I don't want to move, but instead means that I will miss our old house, that I am sad to leave the first place that K and I ever lived in together, that I will miss our bathroom that K tore down to the studs the week we got married, that I will miss the comfort of being here. The reality is that it's too small and we have too much stuff so we don't have much of a choice, but I'm still sad about it. Mostly sad because I think this is what will happen. This picture was taken 3 days ago and is 2 houses down from us:


To offset the aforementioned breakdowns, I've been trying to focus on the positive. K has taken off work and been home with me all week which has been amazing, Mimi and Pop are only a car ride away, and even if they do bulldoze our house and replace it with a giant McMansion we'll still have a pretty stellar new living space. The best part about it all is that we'll finally be able to use K's coffee table from Pier One which has been hiding in a cardboard box in the corner of our dining room since it's purchase date of 1/9/06 [as noted on the "hold" tag that is still taped to the top]. Yes - 4 years later.


And to top it all off - check out that hair!!