One Step at a Time

Lately my Type A personality has been going out of control. I have always been ridiculously impatient, but it is off the charts these days. If things don't go my way, I get so unbelievably frustrated and give little grace to others involved. I nag incessantly, brood around negatively when I'm bored with nothing to do, and blow things way out of proportion if my expectations aren't met.

Don't you wish you lived with me or were married to me?

K has always been so patient and wonderful at handling my insanity. I've really been praying for peace and a spirit of contentment lately. That - and of course listening to One Step at a Time by Jordin Sparks on repeat. Very therapeutic.

I don't want to get churchy or religious blog-style, but the reality is that this quote from the Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning pretty much sums it up. I came across this during my "always-searching-Baptist-style" days, per my Ma. Supplemental reference would equate to Ephesians 2: 8-9. Take this fundamental gem it for what it's worth:

“Maybe this is the heart of our hang-up, the root of our dilemma. We fluctuate between criticizing ourselves and congratulating ourselves because we are deluded into thinking we save ourselves. We develop a false sense of security from our good works and scrupulous observance of the law. Our halo gets too tight and a carefully-disguised attitude of moral superiority results. Or, we are appalled by our inconsistency, devastated that we haven’t lived up to our lofty expectations of ourselves. The roller coaster ride of elation and depression continues.

Why?

Because we never lay hold of our nothingness before God, and consequently, we never enter into the deepest reality of our relationship with him. But when we accept ownership of our powerlessness...then God can make something beautiful out of us.”